just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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