i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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