I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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