Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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