he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize