Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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