if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
