Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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