Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
