He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
