Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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