I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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