i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
