yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
