omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
And then my night got REAL pukey
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
why is half of my head shaved?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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