shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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