let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
