I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
