There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize