woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Dicks are not precious.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
