I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
