don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
