If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
