Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
