I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
