well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
