Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry leftistbarista hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.

(970): View more from Colorado

I'm that good.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice

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(207): View more from Maine

life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.

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(914): View more from New York

Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk

(1-914): View more from New York

It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you

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(601): View more from Mississippi

High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way

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(775): View more from Nevada

Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve

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(914): View more from New York

I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?

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