I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
