This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
