i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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