mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
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