I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
