You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
