I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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