I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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