currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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