so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
