Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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