if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
