I just cut my nipple shaving
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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