Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
