I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
