I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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