I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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