dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
