I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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