Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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