Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
