it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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