Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
