Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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