Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
