what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
