i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
