So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
