I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
