my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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