i permit you to call me
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My dick has a subreddit
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
