The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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