why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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